Sniffer The Maltese: The Comic Book

Sniffer The Maltese

World Famous

Luis de Agustin

Part I – Roman Holiday or How Sniffer The Maltese Became World Famous

Part II – Life With Daa on Apple Blossom Drive After World Fame

a Blue Yellow Media book

In this the inaugural volume of Sniffer The Maltese comics, worldwide fans of the vain and cocky little canine are treated to the long awaited official and complete story of how their dog-hero became World Famous. Additionally, the collection includes many other brand new funny comics featuring the charming eight-pound little wise guy.

Mischievous Sniffer The Maltese has gotten himself into eight pounds of white-haired trembling trouble with the lady canines of his neighborhood. They’re after him, and it’s not to hold paws!

Luckily, Sniffer escapes to Rome, only to face an even more dangerous misadventure in Roman Holiday, the comic that reveals to his fans worldwide the whole story behind his global fame.

These funny unpredictable comic strips in vibrant color and additional tales of Sniffer’s early days as the testy, swollen-headed, but always loveable little big guy, show why Sniffer The Maltese is destined to remain atop the world, and why everybody, young, old, teens, sophisticated adults, can love Sniffer The Maltese.

The book opens...

Sniffer The Maltese. So Who Is He?

Sniffer was a gift from a Swiss diplomat friend of his future owner. The trembling little puppy, dumped on American shores (actually arriving on United Airlines), adapted in an unusual way to his adopted country, New Jersey. Having been a pampered and indulged Royal Maltesean Canine, the pup abstained from mingling with the other dogs of the suburban neighborhood where his owner Daa lived. Instead, he watched tons of TV, most of all gangster movies. The result: a vain Royal Maltesean bloodline combines with the swagger of mafia-movie wise guys developed from endlessly watching them on TV, and produces Sniffer “The Maltese.”

Now don’t misunderstand, Sniffer don’t ever actually hurt nobody. He just becomes a wise cracking, cocky, eight-pound silky haired bundle who thinks he’s five feet tall. In fact, his genetic good manners and gentleness regularly come out, as when listening to tweeting birds he asks Daa if the tiny garblers are as happy as they make him feel.

Often though, his little tough guy underbelly emerges. All those Godfather and Sopranos movies watched as a pup, give him a moody, mini-smarty-pants side, Brooklyn accent included.

Oh, and then there are the ladies of his species. Ruski Wolfhounds to Frenchet Poodles, Sniffer loves them all. Fancying himself a lady-dog chick magnet, he is quite the ladies dog (an attraction that we’ll see gets him into a pile of trouble). But here too as a direct descendent of The High Maltesean Canine Royal Family, his breeding and sense of noblesse naturally tenderize his romantic side.

Then there’s Sniffer’s owner (whose description we’ll sneak in here and hope Sniffer doesn’t notice). Daa, Sniffer’s really nice owner, is a handsome Groton and Yale educated, poised 40-something professional, whose balanced temperament Sniffer often gets the better. Unlike Sniffer who feels put out if he has to regulate his actions, and who complains any chance he gets, Daa deals easily with the disturbances of daily living, even being daily taken advantage by his high and mighty, but really roguishly sweet big-little-fella. After all, Daa realizes that Sniffer is ultimately a dear and loyal companion whose bark is ten times worse than his bite – but don’t ever tell Sniffer ‘dat!

Now, you may also wonder who can actually hear and understand Sniffer. Well, the Royal Malteseans can actually speak with and be understood by any human. However, forged on a sworn pact by Ajax The Great, Head Of Kennel Household of The First Royal Maltesean Court going back to Charlemagne, each Royal may talk with only one human in their lifetime. Per the oath that every Royal swears, they may share this awesome gift only with their owner, if deemed worthy of being so honored (and with other humans only in rare and extraordinary circumstances – an exception Sniffer sometimes naughtily bends). When Sniffer talks to Daa, to everybody else it just sounds like dog noises.

And what does Sniffer sound like? Sniffer has a pleasant high-pitched squeaky voice all his own. You’d sound something like him after exhaling helium released from a party balloon, that is, pretty cute, or as Sniffer prefers to say of his voice, “It contains a delicacy if not fragility that touches you profoundly,” and he adds, “and when combined with my athletic bod and facile moves, the fairer s-e-x is driven wild with passion.”

Indeed, Sniffer The Maltese is quite the big little character.

World Famous – The Illusion and The Reality

Just like Sniffer came to call himself “The Maltese,” he assigned himself “The World Famous.” His need to boast his royal lineage and wise guy persona, induced him to produce a Website to bring his “noble, gallant, brave, and confident bearing” to a world he imagined thirsted for his irrepressible charm.

It turned out however, that no matter how many Words-Of-Sniffer-Wisdom, Bite Back Bulletins, Love Advice For The Forlorn, Kid Corner Videos, Grooming For The Looks Challenged, or Diets For The Unfit he posted, outside Apple Blossom Drive and the neighborhood he roamed, he, Sniffer The Maltese, remained unknown.

What gave modest lie to this fact though, was occasional fan mail from naïve dogs and impressionable humans from foreign countries who happened on his site. Smitten by his swagger, boasts of bravery, Tales Of 1001 Maltesean Nights, and free membership bonuses for joining his international fan club, some actually joined. Membership in The Sniffer The Maltese Adoration Society even included being knighted a Cavalier of the Royal Canis Court of Malta. Such inducements attracted some new members and reinforced Sniffer’s illusion of world fame.

Truth be told, Sniffer harbored some doubt of his celebrity, but like his few mesmerized fans who felt heady solace from being recognized beyond their commoner status plus uplift from proximity to lordly confidence and professed world famousness, Sniffer accepted the fantasy over the reality evidenced by his Website’s low visitor rate.

Occasional fan letters to his Website satisfied the mutual illusions of sender and recipient, and Sniffer’s imagination willingly sidestepped the facts in order to believe in his world fame and many followers’ adoration.

Soon, Sniffer convinced himself he had tons of fans worldwide and that his famousness provided a helping hand to the needy of heart, a bone to the hungry of spirit, excitement to the wimpy, and that millions appreciated being fans of Sniffer The Maltese. And yet, as sometimes happens in the world of illusions, fantasy sometimes becomes reality.

***

And now dear reader, prepare passage for Sniffer The Maltese’s sea of trouble in Roman Holiday. Here the telling of one dog’s love travail, self-deception, and chance at redemption in the eyes of the world.

Here the first two episodes of Sniffer’s Roman Holiday adventure:

FOR BIG VIEW > Right click comic strip > then click Open

Roman Holiday I – Midnight Visitor