Fans

 

Hi, Sniff.

Hi, Madonna.

How ya’ doin?

Fine. You?

Blessed. Big kiss.

Big lick. Luv ya Madonna. 

 

 

 

  

Now let me see if I have this straight. You are a dog who is able to talk with a man. Do I have that right? Is that correct? … Hello? … Hello? … Just as I thought, you are a fraud, sir.

I didn't know what to say, so I didn't answer. Was I wrong?

 

 

  We love you little fella’. Will you come and visit sometime?

 

Wow. A real American family. The only thing missing is a beautiful little white Maltese sitting between the little kids’ feets. I’m gonna cry.

I’ll try to visit sometime. Promise. For now Daa still mismatches his socks, misplaces his shoes, and doesn’t know how to raise an’ lower the TV volume with the remote. He needs somebody to manage everything. But I’m a good teacher. Figure another couple of years. Hold that pose!

 

 

Got my eye on you Sniffer. Behave.

 

Who’s your tailor, Jack?
 

He wrote back: None of your damn business, squirt.

I think Jack Nicholson is just an extremely sensitive human being.

  

 

Sniffer, you want to learn Kung Fu?

 

Na, I’ll stick to English. BTW, please send Jack the name of your tailor.

 

  

 

 

Peace, brother Sniffer.

Yeah, I guess that beard could get us mistook – on a foggy night. Thanks dude for your expression of support.

 

I don’t know what gives with these big Hollywood movie stars. Sometimes they just send me their pics but without a note or anything. Cameron, you're nice, but if you want my picture, please say so. I ain't no mind reader. Sniffer

 

 

 

  Thanks, Ian, but what r u tellin’ me, you wanna make a pinky bet?

 

 

 

 

  

OMG. This is one of those mannequins made to look like a real human being, right? We’re posting it just sos fans know that only real people and animals can be fans of Sniffer The Maltese. Wow, gives me the willies – like one ‘a them snatch-your-soul scary movie creatures.

 

 

 

Sniffer, do you think these shorts make me look fat? Please tell me the truth.

No, Ann. You look great. But what’s that little spot on your nose? 

Very simply put, I am enthralled by you, Sniffer.

So am I. Say, do you think you can count backwards from ten?

 

 

I want you come my house dinner. How much you weigh?
 

Ah, can I first know who what's for dinner? You look awfully hungry, kind sir.



 

 

I like bear more than Sniffer The Maltese.

Wow. That's great, kid. Really great. Yeah.
 

 

 

 

Mr. Sniffer, we are beautiful peoples from Italy. We think you are great cool and wish you join our dolce vita group. Lola, crazy hot one in middle, say she love you crazy crazy. Big hug for you. Ciao. A presto. Us, beautiful peoples.

 

I don't know. I think you'd love me one minute, an' drop me for an Armani shirt the next.

 

They wrote back: Sniffer, please. Versace yes. But Armani? Never.

 

 

 

 

 

 I hug from the Bristish Isles. Jana.

Tanks, Jana.

 

 Dear Sniffer. I like your comics. You are so silly. I love you.

You are my sweetest little fan. Thank you for your pretty picture.
(Signed) Your favorite international famous dog, Sniffer The Maltese.

I mean I just live for this kinda' stuff, people. Makes, sniff-sniff, makes all the enldess world fame responsibilities worth it. Sniff. 

 

 

 

 

"From us at Djibouti. Greetings." 

 

 

 

 

"Sniffer The Maltese, you the man. You the man! You the real man!"

 

 

 

"Dude, put our pitcure up."

 

I luv all my fans. Every one.

 

 

 

They didn't write anything - them bein' regular dogs an' all, but those tongues say it all.

 

 

 

I get a lotta these kind. Luv ya's a bunch too.

 

 

 

"Sniffa da man u rule."

"From daZZ en da Do-vee Po-leeccc"

 

 

 

"Nós te amamos de todo o Brasil."

 

 

 

Gypsy Dance Theatre Loves Sniffer The Maltese

 

 

 

 

"Meilleurs voeux bonne, un peu, à partir d'un simple soldat."

 

 

"Thanks to your site management for advice on speaking to the camera. My career's taken a whole new direction. When is STM visiting Alaska? Hugs. A."

 

 

 

Don’t know what the heck this is supposed to be. My people translated his Chinese to: "I am spark that lights eternal. You are humor flame." I dunno.

En votre honneur Signor Sniffer.

You dressed in my favorite color! Thanks guys.

 

"Blue-Yellow #1 for Sniffer The Maltese."
"Philippines College of Medicine loves Sniffer The Maltese"

What can I say.

 

We don't exactly know who sent this nor who this man is. We just know he's eating ice cream with a fork, and, somebody drank all the Jack Daniels. 

 

 

 

"Sniffer. I can't write yet, so my granda sends you this picture of me. My little sister Mabel thinks you're funny. I do too."

This is what it's all about for me, fans.
Thanks, little guy.

 

"Dear Mr. Sniffer. This illiterate gentleman and his village very much enjoyed your Website on our laptop. He asked we send you a happy greeting on his village and his behalf. Cheers."

 

"Sniffer, think you'd like my beard? - ha-ha-ha.

"Only if you rut, Jack."

 

"You're part of our world."

 

"Hello from Finland. Terveisiä Suomessa."

 

 

"I am biggest fan of you Sniffer The Maltese. I send fotograph for all jokes you make me laughter. Russia biggest fan country of you Sniffer The Maltese. You do not come here?"

Thanks, moosa, for your cool pic. That long, Russian Wolfhound hair - wow!

 

 

 

"Stop by McEan's ever you're in Jedburgh - that's Scotland - and have a wee one with us lad."

Thanks guys. Maybe next summer. 

 

"¡Ay, que perrito mas simpatico!"

"¡Carajo, Esniffer, eres la monda!"
 

Thanks, old dudes. Oh and, great hair, pops!

 

 

 

"How can be I so crazy about you, Sniffer The Maltese? Below is pictures my apartment in Moscow I wish you visit. Ulyana

Don't know the reason, milaya moyna. Must be somethin' we share a thing for. 

 

 

Ulyana apartment picture 1.

 

Ulyana apartment picture 2.

 

 

 

"Just for you, Sniff."

 

Tanks, G.

 

 

 

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