New Celebrity Fan Mail

Hi, fans. It’s a while since I share celebrity fan mail with you. Here’s a selection of their fan mail to me.

To those celebs whose mail is not included here, no offense, I luv you to.
Thanks for mailing.

Sniffer The Maltese
 
 
Sniffer, I believe that you have a strategic mission in life. If I can help you to achieve a relatively successful outcome, you need to contact me. Ask for Gloria at my office.
Signed (in disappearing ink, I think) Henry Kissinger
Wow, Henry K is a fan. Henry, you are famous for your refined sense of humor, so that explains your fan status.
Sniffer
P.S. I can’t find a number in the phone book.

 
Sniffer, how much do you charge?
Arianna Huffington
I wrote back, “for what?”
For coming to my house and standing – or sitting – in the living room or in the swimming pool area.
I don’t really know.
How about a dollar?
For how long?
For the length of my party that I’m throwing for – I can’t say for who the party is. It is a secret.
I’ll do it for two.
Two dollars?
Two dollars.
That is double of what I suggested, you know.
Arianna?
Yes?
I’ll do it for a dollar.
Thank you, Sniffer. I will send you details.
Thank you – I think – Arianna.
That was the exchange more or less. I don’t have anything else I want to add here.
STM

 
Hello there Sniffer. Chris Colfer here. I have some thoughts on expanding your appeal. Let’s do lunch next time you’re in LA.
Thanks, Chris. Oh, do you know I also do art? Yeah, I have a whole collection of work that I devote much time to for my fans. You should check it out.
Hey, do you ever come to New York?
Sniffer

 
Hi Sniffer. Like your stuff.
Crystle Stewart
Thanks, Crystle.
Sniffer The Maltese

 
Grandma and David Shankbone are pictured above.
I want to thank Dave for so much great photography he shares with people. He’s a cool guy. That’s his grandma, I think on her 90 years birthday. Don’t you love it when old people stick around to show us how happy we can be when they have aches and pains and may have a hard time getting’ around but can smile such beautiful happy smiles.  Thanks, Grandma.
Sniffer

 
Sniffer my boy you are wonderful. Very funny. Good luck.
Max Azria
Thanks, Max. If I was a human, I would wear your clothes – I mean, the ones you design.
Fans, isn’t it great to have older people fans too?
I think so.
Sniffer

 
Little Man! You look cool.
Little Man is a famous dog in New York City. I don’t know if he’s like a really big fan of mine, but I like to say hello this way to the little guy.
You rule, LM.
Sniff

 
Kanye West
Like your material, man. K.
Hey, Kanye.
Hey, did you notice you and Henry have the same like “K” in your names. I’ll bet that Henry and you could hit it off. I mean, find one another interesting.
Hey, if you can find his number, I’ll call Gloria and try to set up a meet.
Regards to Ms. K.
Sniffer The Maltese

 
Hi.
Joan Jett
Hi, Joan. Thanks for wearing the T. It’s really nice. Oh, and you’re lookin’ good in the skinny pants even with all the stuff in them.
STM

 
I can’t remember who this sort of celebrity is. Sometimes these celebs (as you know) send me greetings and fan mail and don’t include their names because I guess because they’re celebrities. Anyway, Waggytail Party celebrity, thanks for sharing the luv with your little pal there.
Sniffer



This is Tinsley Mortimer.
That’s nice.
Sniffer The Maltese


 
Normally I put this kinda picture someplace else on my site, but I wanted to send a shout-out to the NYPD – they’re kind of celebrities anyway. NYC cops are some of the coolest cops around. I mean, they don’t get their girdle all tied up in a knot when one of us does somethin’ on the sidewalk. I mean, sometimes we can’t help it. Anyway, these cops just come over and nicely tell you to clean it up, and don’t make a big stink about it. I guess they have more important things to do than poop patrol.
Sniffer The Maltese

 
The Raveonetttes
Love you.
For those of you of my fans who don’t know these guys, let me introduce The Raveonettes. Isn’t that a cool name?
Thanks for writing, good luck, and please keep it clean.
Sniffer The Maltese