Dear fans of Sniffer The Maltese. As many of you know, you
can send messages to Sniffer The Maltese asking for help and advice with your
thorniest problems, and Sniffer replies to those pleas of help.
Starting today, to encourage you not to sit on your
problems, the STM team will post occasional messages from fans along with Sniffer’s
correspondence resolving the fan’s issue. We want you to know that you are not
alone, and that many fans share the same concerns. Do not hesitate to seek help
from Sniffer The Maltese. Just write to him using the contact form on the site.
We’re calling this new service, Help Me Sniffer! Here’s
one fan’s experience.
Help me Sniffer.
My brother Jethro got fleas from sleepin in the barn. You
bein a dog an all, how can he get rid of um? Please help.
Sniffer’s reply:
Dear (name undisclosed) from (undisclosed). Fleas are real
easy to get rid of with my foolproof patented process that I call Flea-B-Gone.
All you do is borrow a sheep and rub her all over your brother. The fleas will
jump off him and onto the sheep. It’s a fact and it’s that easy. Let me know
how it turns out.
Helpfully yours, Sniffer The Maltese.
Undisclosed responds:
It worked, man! I’m, I mean Jethro is flea free! He also found
a beautiful girlfriend, bathes weekly, brushes his teeth (all four) daily,
cooks his grasshoppers now, gave up beer, is pursuin a degree in veterinary
technology, and has a whole new lease on life! Thanks man for givin my brother
back to his family.
Sniffer’s closing:
That’s what I’m here for.
Selflessly yours, your dog hero, Sniffer The Maltese.
Fans of Sniffer The Maltese, send in your pleas of help
using the contact form. For emergencies, mark “urgent!”