Hi, fans.
It’s a while since I share celebrity fan mail with you. Here’s a selection of
their fan mail to me.
To those
celebs whose mail is not included here, no offense, I luv you to.
Thanks for
mailing.
Sniffer The
Maltese
Sniffer, I
believe that you have a strategic mission in life. If I can help you to achieve
a relatively successful outcome, you need to contact me. Ask for Gloria at my
office.
Signed (in
disappearing ink, I think) Henry Kissinger
Wow, Henry
K is a fan. Henry, you are famous for your refined sense of humor, so that
explains your fan status.
Sniffer
P.S. I
can’t find a number in the phone book.
Sniffer,
how much do you charge?
Arianna
Huffington
I wrote
back, “for what?”
For coming
to my house and standing – or sitting – in the living room or in the swimming
pool area.
I don’t
really know.
How about a
dollar?
For how
long?
For the
length of my party that I’m throwing for – I can’t say for who the party is. It
is a secret.
I’ll do it
for two.
Two
dollars?
Two
dollars.
That is
double of what I suggested, you know.
Arianna?
Yes?
I’ll do it
for a dollar.
Thank you,
Sniffer. I will send you details.
Thank you –
I think – Arianna.
That was
the exchange more or less. I don’t have anything else I want to add here.
STM
Hello there
Sniffer. Chris Colfer here. I have some thoughts on expanding your appeal.
Let’s do lunch next time you’re in LA.
Thanks,
Chris. Oh, do you know I also do art? Yeah, I have a whole collection of work
that I devote much time to for my fans. You should check it out.
Hey, do you
ever come to New York?
Sniffer
Hi Sniffer.
Like your stuff.
Crystle
Stewart
Thanks,
Crystle.
Sniffer The
Maltese
Grandma and
David Shankbone are pictured above.
I want to
thank Dave for so much great photography he shares with people. He’s a cool
guy. That’s his grandma, I think on her 90 years birthday. Don’t you love it
when old people stick around to show us how happy we can be when they have
aches and pains and may have a hard time getting’ around but can smile such
beautiful happy smiles. Thanks, Grandma.
Sniffer
Sniffer my
boy you are wonderful. Very funny. Good luck.
Max Azria
Thanks,
Max. If I was a human, I would wear your clothes – I mean, the ones you design.
Fans, isn’t
it great to have older people fans too?
I think so.
Sniffer
Little Man!
You look cool.
Little Man
is a famous dog in New York City. I don’t know if he’s like a really big fan of
mine, but I like to say hello this way to the little guy.
You rule,
LM.
Sniff
Kanye West
Like your
material, man. K.
Hey, Kanye.
Hey, did
you notice you and Henry have the same like “K” in your names. I’ll bet that
Henry and you could hit it off. I mean, find one another interesting.
Hey, if you
can find his number, I’ll call Gloria and try to set up a meet.
Regards to
Ms. K.
Sniffer The
Maltese
Hi.
Joan Jett
Hi, Joan.
Thanks for wearing the T. It’s really nice. Oh, and you’re lookin’ good in the
skinny pants even with all the stuff in them.
STM
I can’t
remember who this sort of celebrity is. Sometimes these celebs (as you know)
send me greetings and fan mail and don’t include their names because I guess
because they’re celebrities. Anyway, Waggytail Party celebrity, thanks for
sharing the luv with your little pal there.
Sniffer
This is Tinsley
Mortimer.
That’s
nice.
Sniffer The
Maltese
Normally I
put this kinda picture someplace else on my site, but I wanted to send a shout-out
to the NYPD – they’re kind of celebrities anyway. NYC cops are some of the
coolest cops around. I mean, they don’t get their girdle all tied up in a knot
when one of us does somethin’ on the sidewalk. I mean, sometimes we can’t help
it. Anyway, these cops just come over and nicely tell you to clean it up, and
don’t make a big stink about it. I guess they have more important things to do
than poop patrol.
Sniffer The
Maltese
The
Raveonetttes
Love you.
For those
of you of my fans who don’t know these guys, let me introduce The Raveonettes.
Isn’t that a cool name?
Thanks for
writing, good luck, and please keep it clean.
Sniffer The Maltese
